Stay at home parent?
Recently, I’ve been speaking to more and more parents, and realising that at some stage most people have gone through the same process.
No one can teach you how to parent, all the advice in the world can help but you’ll eventually find your own ways that work for you.
Life before Theo
I used to live a very active and sociable lifestyle. Never did I feel that having a baby would make my whole world change, including emotions. After birth, hormones are sky high and can be so hard to control.
Tiredness kicks in and you start functioning like a zombie! Due to this, I started spending more days indoors and this took a big hit on my mental health.
Summer was amazing as we were able to chill in the garden, head out with our mummy friends, see family. As soon as winter came around, we struggled to do things (I say we, I mean me). There were days at a time that I just didn’t leave the house and found every excuse not to.
Finding a job was tough
I finally decided that it was time to get a job, not realising how hard this was going to be.
In the past, I have always been very lucky with finding work and never experienced rejection. I naively thought that getting a job would be easy.
I made the decision to apply for full time work and decided childcare would be fine for Theo (not then realising the true expense). Interviews were also a thing of the past and they completely threw me, to the point I didn’t know how to respond. The first interview was incredibly hard!
I struggled to answer questions that previously would have been so easy, communication was tough, it was safe to say I didn’t get the job.
I kept applying for other work but was rejected before even getting to the interview stage. This took a huge hit on my mental health and I just started to feel worthless.
Loneliness was just crazy, I had Theo but just felt alone in the day until Elliot would get home. I started to resent him for ‘having a break’ at work and would find any reason to get annoyed.
Finally, the spell was broken
I received the good news that I had finally ‘got a job’! It was a strange one as I received the news that ‘I didn’t get the job’ but they would like to open up a new position for me. This meant the world to me and made me feel so valuable!
Once you commit to what you set out to achieve, more than likely it will happen
But why do we feel lonely?
It’s a strange situation; the amount of emotions you can go through in a day, along with the motivation of what you want to achieve with that day, to losing all motivation in a second.
I think the reason we feel lonely is because we have lost all that social interaction that we used to have with just adults. The new interaction with adults involves babies, stress and worry (not all the time) that we haven’t got time for ourselves in that moment.
Lives have completely changed and our little ones become our world and we put them first.
The focus for me has been to get in shape, so exercising has motivated me, especially as I am a Bride to be in August! It’s time to get in shape.
Set yourself a focus and set a date to achieve it
Start finding time for yourself, that could be 15 minutes, half hour just to do something that you enjoy. Even drinking a hot cup of tea!
I also found the book ‘The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne’ helped me to see life differently and value everyday.